Hairy moments

Visit Finland has finally found some wind and is now speeding up towards north and China in lovely sunshine. New daily duties have been added to the list of jobs, while our computer screens are still not working normally.

The core of our computer screen trouble is that they are running off normal mains voltage, provided by an inverter that is dysfunctional at the moment. The inverter failure does not affect our computers at all as they are built for boat environment and they draw the power directly from the battery. However computers cannot be used without screens, so there we are, powering computer screens through experimental electrical engineering from the mains plug when the generator is running. Generator consumes diesel, so we cannot keep it running all the way to China.

I am following our diesel and battery situation with great interest, as I have resumed water making activities today and currently filling up both starboard side tanks. The water maker has already been on for 24 hours without overflow, indicating problems. The sea state may be a little bit too choppy for our poor old watermaker to function without hiccups.

Pan & brush duty

Steering check duty involves clambering down to lazarette and inspecting the steering cables connecting from the wheel to the rudder. Usually this job is done within 5 minutes of opening the hatch, therefore an additional cleaning job has been added to the steering check duty. A lot of food crumbs end up on the floor during each meal, therefore we are now preventing growth of new crew members by brushing the saloon floor and washing the cockpit every day.

This wouldn’t be too bad at all, unless one cheeky chap decided to have a maintenance day the other day and shave his head straight there in the saloon. If you have ever been to Clipper yachts, you’d know that the floor is like super grainy sand paper. Hair sticks to it like no tomorrow, and so pan and brush are completely futile in the cleaning job. Perhaps a roll of duct tape would offer more efficient cleaning power?

I have earlier suggested a resolution to our persistent loose hair trouble, but no action has been taken yet to my great astonishment. The core of the problem is that human hair does not stick to head, chest, leg or derriere as it should, but finds its way to every nook and cranny when the opportunity arises. My solution is very simple: full body waxing.

On *my* boat anyone intending to stay on board definitely has to get waxing done, sorry chaps for any possible distress. Mine is very disciplined -even militant- yacht, I must admit. When it comes to hairstyles, we can complement smooth bodies with streamlined hairstyles: The short hair needs to be very short, say 5 mm max, and long hair needs to be always tidily on a ponytail, bun or plait. Easy! The days of hairstyle as an expression of one’s personality are over. If any of the ladies were doubtful, the guys here reminded that Sinead O’Connor was very attractive woman with shaven head in mid-90′s music scene. You’ll only need classic bone structure, good complexion and pixie eyes to match the beauty.

Rosy horror

Talking of hair. Our victualler has found a cordial flavour that sounds really attractive. Rose. The raspberry coloured cordial lets us anticipate slightly sweet yet refreshing drink, like sniffing a freshly blossomed rose early in the morning when the grass is still dewy and you can feel the coolness of the night in the air. In reality this is the worst drink I have tried for a long time, hands down. Try imagining artificial rose flavoured water strained through sugar and dogs’ hair, then imagine it’s thrice worse. This cordial is going to go overboard very soon.

In Singapore this rose cordial was seen to be served mixed with milk, which I cannot imagine making it any better. It would rather give an impression of 16 huskies swimming through a milk river, then rolling in sugar before a wash; collect the water, add rose flavour, bottle and sell by glass in the food market. Intriguing? Yes. Enjoyable? An acquired taste.

I wonder how cordial producers have arranged the husky washing line? How they can afford keeping thousands of dogs? Do the dogs get distressed from constant rinsing? Does the flavour suffer if the dogs are too clean?

Perplexed in Borneo, 7 35′.083N 110 45′.241E